Updated: Sep 17, 2021
It's been a minute since we've seen each other, right?
I mean, between COVID19, relocating the studio, hooplah about vaccines, doing that deep-dive inner work that can leave you feeling grateful as all get out one day, and crying into your flax-chia-hemp heart-banana breakfast bowl the next (nope, that's not oddly specific at all...), Mercury Retrogrades, aka, reaffirming the whole human experience...SHEEESH! We've been through a lot.
It seems as if the shadow side of humanity has been called to task via numerous heart-wrenching and ugly actions kicked loose from our darker crevices and up onto the bustling concrete of humanity. These very acts - as unsettling and upsetting as they have been - give cause for us to deepen our opportunity for inner work. (Thank you to the many unnamed as well as known agents of change casting bright unyielding light onto our collective "stuff".)
I don't know about you, but at the moment, I'm moving through life with a sense of swinging on a vine in a jungle I only partly know. Enjoying the freedom of the swing and the exhilaration of the new views is bliss, and all the while, I'm not entirely certain what will be in that next tree or how I'm going to find my footing...and that's ok as I trust in the unknown, the journey, divine source. And as old mindsets derived in fear and scarcity come up from deeper depths, (remember folks, our thoughts stem from either fear or love...every stinking time...check!) to more fully allow myself to align with purpose-aligned living, well, it's not for the weak, right?!
During these air-swinging, inner work journeys, I've been whacked in the head by a branch or two. They've not been as graceful as one might imagine from a peaceful, positive vibe, Reiki master type, let me tell you.
By divine design of how we are created, I found grace to move to the next, more wisdom-built space of beingness, and yet somehow simultaneously signed myself up for more whacks on the head. (Mental Note: Still Human.) Seems like the collective is doing the same thing every time another incident is brought to light. Hmmm...
In moments of the present swing, I've also lost my grip a time or two, free-falling a few feet to the ground, feeling the crunch of my perceptions breaking like bones hitting the dirt, sitting with more presence in my personal forest of shadows as Divine Source breathed clarity, resilience and forgiveness into my lungs. (And, um...update: air in our lungs helps us BREATHE! Who knew?) And as I've sat there, tired from holding on to my vine...mud-covered, bug-bitten, dismayed at my own self disrespecting habits that landed me there, sometimes it's been ridiculously hard. I've cried, stayed down, felt wiped of all ability to rally. I've also received grace from companions on this journey, and they remind me of life's beauty, renew my sense of purpose, even restore my soul, simply by their willingness to connect, hold space, love me, in this wrecked and bruised state I was in. I don't think I've yet walked myself completely out of this forest, but I have begun to love on the shadowy spaces within myself, not to transform them into shiny white light, but to receive them as they are, just differently.
It feels that I am not alone in my deeper dives. I've often said in the past year that COVID-19 didn't just bring us a virus, it brought us a fork in the spiritual road. I can't think of anyone who hasn't become more reflective, had deeper self-awareness opportunities present themselves during this pandemic. And we can either face whatever our personal limiting beliefs, demons, whatever you want to call them (fork A) or we can do our damndest to take fork B in an attempt to go back to "normal" and try to ignore that fork A ever existed. If you've felt depressed, angry, lost, frightened, worried, anxious, joyful, uplifted, back to lost again, you are probably taking fork A, and I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU!
You probably are now at the point where you, too have this sense of reaffirmation of growth, inclination toward real sense of community, based on your values, not on where you work, what you do, how big your house is...but on a tribe who really gets you.
You want to share your authentic self with.
Though we must do our own inner work, I intuitively feel so many others doing the same. It is somewhat unifying...we're really not in it alone. We all are growing through pains revisited, de-programming and detaching from ways that no longer serve us. The intentional letting go of the vine we've held like a lifeline, sometimes for several decades...that is the real work we are now doing, in great part thanks to COVID-19 and isolation. And If you are just now arriving at fork A, Welcome.
I hope all is well in your world, regardless of any highs or lows you might be feeling in any given moment. I'm grateful you are here, and just want to remind you, you got this, and I'm here.